Getting back after you’ve fallen down is easy. Getting back trying to live after life’s mercilessly clobbered you in the back, is a different deal altogether. One can’t begin to live just like they did. You realise you can’t so readily trust, not even life. Taking dad away from me was worse than betrayal. I hate life for it.
Once burnt, forever shy.
I want to go to someplace devoid of life and yell my frustrations off my head. I want the clouds of negativity to life off me, so I can breathe freely. Life is cruel and there’s nothing more I ask of it but to leave me alone and not go chasing after me. It took away from me what was most precious to me, without so much as a notice, and for that I can never in my heart find it to forgive anyone, whoever is responsible. But who is?
How do you forgive when the pain is all you see and feel?
Getting back to being normal is a task each day when only the frames from yesterday flicker before my eyes. Left and right. Back and forth. Until I’m blinded. Which way do I look so that those memories don’t keep hitting me square in my face? And yet, I try. I realise I need dad now more than I ever imagined and I can’t even tell him that.
Why is it either always too early or always too late?
Talking of getting back, I pick up pieces left untouched for a while. Yes, I am unbelievably, heartcrushingly forlorn, but I haven’t forgotten. First things first. I remember I promised free books on account of the blog birthday in July. I will start there. So, all of you who participated in the contest do leave me a reply below and help me get back to you. I look forward to sending you the books. Sorry for the trouble, guys. Hope you’d oblige.
Hurry, the free books await you.