The Hate I Harbored

Time wasn’t on our side. Today, when it is too late, I convince myself thus. Maybe I wasn’t the right age to understand. Maybe you were too harsh that I suffered in vain. Maybe I comprehended you wrong. Maybe you misunderstood me much.

I believed you knew what you were doing. Unleashing a world of horrors on my soul. Driving me over the edge. And all I saw was the cliff beyond that I was going to jump from.

I hated you for making me feel helpless, restless. I hated you for educing me to nothing. I hated you for uprooting my world that was my refuge. I hated you. For everything.

Tonight, I sit traveling back in time. Hoping to change everything if I got one chance. I would reason with you. I would fill all the distance time put between us. I would show you I cared. I would love you right.

While time has turned against me, I do not know which way to go. This new world seems ready to pounce and feast upon my regretting conscience. Your absence is too vast a void. I do not even try to fill it. I know it cannot be.

Now, while you’re gone, the hate I harbored is following me like a shadow. The hate I harbored is all that’s left.

~~~~~

Asha Seth